Time for Change

I've been debating for a while to give up painting.  I know it’s like giving up air.  Breathing is part of our life and so is creating for me. It’s in me, it is me…but at some point I have to step back and take a look at my home.  I have art everywhere.  The bigger the canvas the better I like it.  But gosh-oh-my, what am I to do with it all.  I’m not good at selling myself, and I create to create not to make money, although the occasional SOLD painting always makes me happy.  It’s like an affirmation from them universe, wow, someone does like what I do… I knew my artwork had been taking up all the wall space when my husband asked me, “Where oh were did grandpa go”?  O-My-gosh, where did grandpa go, I had slowly been replacing my family photos with my artwork, not out of disrespect but out of lack or room, but it did not fully hit me that my art had taken over until my my college aged daughter came home for the holidays and tried to stay in her room which had become the “catch all” for my paintings and everything else.  I had to stop and rethink……what have I done, I’ve taken over…..Okay…let’s get real; the MOST important thing to me is family, so time to regroup.  Let’s take ½ my studio (the big half) with my huge canvases and easels, which honestly collects more dust in the winter than paint, let’s put the easels up in the garage for the rest of the winter until I can bring them outside to be “one” with spring.  Let’s wrap up all the paintings that are hogging the wall, bedroom, and closet space and place them in a spot that’s out of the way, why didn’t I do that before. I will admit, I had an over whelming since of sadness as I wrapped up my precocious art.  Each painting was painted with love, passion and a special something. I paint from an inspirational feeling and as my oldest daughter came in and saw what I was doing, there was this unspoken acknowledgement for how difficult this was for me to do, because she understands me and the connection that I have to my art.  But she also understands my frustration with lack of ….space… I wrapped each painting that was over 24 x 24, wrapped in left over Christmas wrap that I’ve had for years, I wrapped them inside out, so the white of the paper is showing, protected from dust and dirt they are now snuggled up with Santa Clause, they are up and out of the way.  So now my art studio has been cleaned out, all the major art supplies have been place out of sight, I am left with a card table and some minimal supplies to where I will use self-control and paint small, small, small…. I have a huge request for my inspirational hand painted rocks, so that’s where I’ll begin.  It’s not the size of the art; it’s the heart that goes into it and I look forward to painting 5 x 7 and smaller.  My house is on its way to becoming a “less is more” feeling and my family photos will once again adorn my hallways, this will be a nice surprise for my husband who’s missing seeing grandpa but through it all has been wonderful.  My studio is actually nice and clean and where my easel sat, now sits my meditation mat.  I’m looking forward to setting in meditation and just being ONE with the Universe.  Who knows what “creative” juices will begin to flow?  I just might find myself there.  Stay tuned, as I will still be creating Small works of art.  For now, this feels right...